Natural talent isn’t necessarily a sign of your child’s potential and how to unlock that potential.
Looking back at the annals of history, the greats were great right from the start.
Mozart showed exceptional musical talent well in advance of him forming words properly, composing his first piece at the age of five; Picasso demonstrated extraordinary artistic abilities during his youth, producing his first paintings in his early teens; while pioneering physicist and chemist Marie Curie displayed remarkable aptitude in science from very tender years and went on to become the first woman to win a Nobel Prize.
So, what if your son or daughter just isn’t showing signs of extraordinary greatness… or any real greatness at all? According to psychologist, professor and author, Adam Grant, you need not despair.
His latest book, Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things, Grant uses a 1980s study of 120 Olympic swimmers, neurologists, concert pianists and other high-achieving individuals – none of whom were identified as having extraordinary potential, but who followed a rigorous training programme.
When they did later flourish, it wasn’t because they had superhuman abilities, but because they cared, and were willing to put in the work to develop their skills.
With this in mind, it is important to nurture a solid work ethic in your child and guide them towards developing their passions. If you’re not sure where to start, Grant swears by these five tips for unlocking your potential for greatness…
Teach Children to Think Like Scientists
Too many people spend time thinking like prosecutors, where attacking someone else’s views is the route to reinforcing their own.
Instead, teaching a child to think like a scientist means not letting their ideas become their sole identity. Help they consider that their opinions are hypotheses – this means they broach their decisions as experiments. And when they do that, they’re much quicker to recognise when they might be wrong, and that means they can be faster to get it right.
Suggest They Become A (Sea) Sponge
We often think that being a sponge means soaking up information and absorbing all the knowledge you can to get better. But being a sea sponge — whose key property is to absorb nutrients and expel harmful particles — is far more effective.
We should suggest that same logic to our children when it comes to receiving feedback. Our youngsters are made to feel that every response is a gift, yet not all critics in life are being constructive. Instead, encourage them to ask for advice that leads people to coach them; rather straight feedback, which is backward-looking.
Encourage Giving
Receiving is passive — if you’re always the one being coached, it puts you in the position of depending on others for guidance. Selfish takers are transactional, too – they burn bridges, and miss out on learning opportunities.
Instead, encourage children to give advice as well as receive it.
Allow Children to Pursue Imposter Syndrome
This is counter-intuitive to a lot of people because we normally think about imposter syndrome as debilitating. But it is, in fact, a sign of hidden potential: less a case of people overestimating us, more us underestimating ourselves.
Research shows so-called imposters end up working harder than their peers to close the gap between what other people think they’re capable of and their own beliefs in their capabilities, so give children a target, or someone/something to emulate.
Tell Them to Seek Excellence, Not Perfection
Finally, make sure your young ones realise that progress comes from maintaining high standards, not eliminating every flaw.
Kids have years of learning ahead, so they don’t have to master something — whether that’s football or French — to use and enjoy it. Taking the pressure off, like this, ultimately leans towards better learning.
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